She shakes her head.

My life has been rather stressful recently.

I got offered a job at Methodist West, which I've been pining over for months, but now I feel a little conflicted. Not because of the job, I want the job, but because I've gotten so attached to my friends at Mercy. Luckily I was asked to stay PRN. So I get the best of both worlds. I get to do what I specialized in, and I get my friends. Can't beat that.

I think that working nights has made Steven and I a lot closer (not that we weren't before) and I hope that doesn't change once I'm back working days. It seems like the time we do have together is a lot more important now, since half the time we'll go several days and barely see each other. It's amazing that after almost 4 years I don't feel the least bit burnt out. I'm lucky.

We're also getting a puppy!!! His name is Cash. And I love him. He's already spoiled rotten and he doesn't even know who we are.

Anyways, I should probably go do something productive. Later :)

Why can't we see that when we bleed we bleed the same?

The past week has been rather productive. Our new apartment's air conditioning stopped working, and we had to stay with Steven's parents for a few nights to beat the sweltering 85 degree heat in our apartment.

I hate to be added to the cliche of girlfriend's that can't stand they're future-in-laws, but it seems as though I'm being hurled in that direction. Those of you who know me know that I'm not a big touchy feely person, I have my own personal views on life and I like things the way I like them. But Steven's mom seems to just send me over the edge. She gave me the marriage talk several times this week, and it always ends the same way: "I have no intention of being with anyone but Steven. But you should keep yourself occupied because you won't be getting any grandkids out of me for a looooong time." She doesn't like this. Why can't people just accept that we're happy, devoted to each other, and will probably elope in Vegas? I feel like people get married too young these days. I have a theory. If you're going to get married young, go through something really hard together before you do it. It'll help you figure out if you'll be able to handle things when they get hard.. because, let's face it, life sucks sometimes. Steven and I have been through so much in the past 3 and a half years that made us grow up so fast. But we're better people for it, and the maturity we gained has molded our relationship into something I don't think very many people get in their lives. Which is too bad, because its the greatest thing in the world.

I also shot a few concert scenes for the movie "Janie Jones" starring Abigail Breslin, Joel Moore, and Britney Snow (as well as a few other big names.) The opportunities for film in Des Moines right now are amazing, and I'm so blessed to be able to be a part of it. I feel like things in my life are really great right now, and being able to actually make money while hanging out with the coolest people in the world and doing what I love more then anything proves that. I'm meeting a lot of great people and making connections that will hopefully aid my success and maybe get me some more experience. Hopefully they see the potential that I'm really starting to see in myself.

I started my new job at the Mercy West Lakes hospital, and as boring as it is right now I think its going to be good for me. Other then the hours. I think my body is physically rejecting working night shifts. I hear that goes away eventually, but if it doesn't we may have a problem...

Anyways, I need to go to bed now because its 2 in the morning and Steven fell asleep on the couch. So it'll take me another hour to get him from the couch to the bed... and I need to give myself a head start .

I stop the stars for no one.

Steven just made me watch "Labyrinth." Other then the fact that David Bowie used to be semi-good looking (especially in his Goblin King garb) I think the movie may have been a complete waste of two hours of my life. And lucky for the movie watching public, Jennifer Connelly is a much better actress now.

On a better note, Steven's step-dad finally reinforced the stand for my big fish tank so I can start setting it up. What's sad is that for the past 2 weeks the only thing I've really looked forward to is putting that tank together. (I really like my fish.) They're at Steven's parents right now and his mom treats them like they're her grandchildren. She talks to them, and gives them treats, and it almost makes me sad to take them away from her. Luckily she got 2 of her own that she added to my tank for when I take mine back, but now mine are getting attached. So I'm pretty sure I'll have to get some replacements, because they'll go through withdrawal.

Now that I'm done with my rant about my fish, I think I'll go get some lunch now.

A song to burn your bridges by.

Seeing as how every person in the world that has nothing important to say has a blog, I figure I might as well attempt to dazzle you with my wits.

So, I feel the need to tell you about my life, though if you're reading this you probably know me or at least want to stalk me... Either because you're actually interested or you hope that I'll slip and say something stupid that you can gossip about. For the latter, stay tuned. I'm bound to sound like an idiot eventually. For those of you that genuinely care, if I do say something that makes me seem like I could be going off the deep end I hope that you'll call me and tell me that I need to go back on my meds, or at least find someone nearby to give me a hug. But if you really did know me you know that there are only about 5 people on this earth that I will hug willingly. Sadly, there are even less that I would allow to initiate the hug in the first.... You're thinking "she has daddy issues," I'm thinking "What did your daddy to you that makes you feel the need to hug everyone you meet?"

So that's really all I have to say right now... but hopefully something exciting will happen tomorrow that I can share with you.

Stay classy.
Jana